Love for a Life
by songbook
Summary: Beverly is willing to sacrifice her own life out of love for her son. However, will her love for a man be realized to late? PC take on an alternate ending to the episode "Justice".
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1:

A/N: A fair warning- this is my first Star Trek Fan Fic. I can't promise to get all the technicalities right. I guess I'm a little new to this. But I have watched so many shows and read many of the stories on this site. Now, about this story- I always thought they got off easy when they rescued Wesley from the Edo. So, I've complicated a few things. And made it more PC of course. Anyway, this is a more emotional ending to the episode _Justice_. It starts after Wesley has been sentenced to death and after Captain Picard has brought Rivan back up to the Enterprise. Dr. Crusher has already begged him for her son's life in sickbay, but he gave her the Prime Directive speech and she stormed out.

Songbook proudly presents, _Love for a Life. _

Captain Picard sat in his room staring at Data. The Starfleet Captain in him knew how simple the arithmetic was: on life for thousands. However, the man in him could not let Wesley Crusher be sacrificed for the Federation's laws.

"Captain?" Data looked at him curiously; he must have zoned out again.

"Data, I can't do it." Picard rose, tugging on his shirt. "I can't bring another body home to Beverly." Jack Crusher's death still weighed heavily on his mind. He still had nightmares of when he showed Beverly her husband's lifeless body.

Before Data could come up with the proper answer, the door opened and Beverly Crusher walked in. Only she was not dressed in her appropriate blue medical uniform. Even her customary blue coat was missing. Instead it was a casual green dress that came to just below her knees. Without a word she walked over to her Captain and handed him a PADD.

"My resignation." She turned quickly on her heel, gave Data a nodding acknowledgment, and went out the door. Picard glanced down at the electronic device in his hand before throwing it on the table and racing after her.

"Beverly! Wait!" He ran out of his room, managing to catch sight of her down the hall. "Beverly, what the hell was that?" The red head whirled around and Jean-Luc knew the infamous Howard temper was at its peak.

"I should ask you the same question!" There was a wild desperation in her eyes and it scared him. "They want to execute my son. I know your obligation to Starfleet, because I have it to. Not anymore, I'm done."

"I won't let them kill Wesley, Beverly." Jean-Luc reached out for her hand and when he finally grasped it, he noticed it was shaking. She stepped forward into his embrace, laying her forehead on his shoulder. He rubbed her back slowly, letting her take in the moment. Facing your child's impending death was no small feat for a mother.

"Jean-Luc, I can't lose another person I love to Starfleet." Beverly's blue eyes stared intently into his. "I will do anything to save his life."

"That's what I am afraid of." She placed her quivering hand on his cheek and placed a chaste kiss gently on his lips.

"Don't worry about me." Beverly stepped away from him, her eyes still locked on his. "Goodbye, Jean-Luc." She walked away with purpose, heading for the transporter room. Captain Picard stood frozen on the spot as Data joined him in the corridor.

"Sir, it's almost sundown on the planet."

"Thank you, Mr. Data." Picard followed her to the transporter room, just in time to beam down to the planet beside her. Will Riker, Deanna Trio, Tasha Yar, and Worf were waiting as the two appeared. Deanna was instantly at her best friend's side, concerned for her well being. Will nodded to Liator, who motioned to his security to bring out the prisoner.

Wesley appeared unharmed, but very nervous. The sight of his mother calmed him slightly, but he could also see the pain she was in; the pain he was causing her. He started to move towards her, but was met by one of the guard's arms, holding him back.

"Mom!" Some words flew through the pack of people who had gathered. The boy's mother was here to see her son executed.

"Wesley...don't worry, everything is going to be just fine." She heard her own voice catch with emotion as her son's eyes flickered to the balding man standing next to her.

"I am not going to let you die, Wesley," he said calmly.

"The crime must have a punishment," spoke Liator. Before Picard could answer, Beverly stepped forward.

"I have a proposition." All eyes were upon her now. Deanna let out a small gasp, but Beverly continued before she could protest. "Someone has to die for the crime, but does it have to be Wesley?" Liator and Rivan exchanged a curious glance.

"Who do you propose dies in his place? Who would make such a sacrifice?" asked Liator. Jean-Luc turned to stare at her in disbelief. The rest of the senior staff seemed to realize what she was hinting at, but chose to stand in silence.

"His mother." Wesley's head whipped towards her, but she refused to make eye contact. "I am more than willing to die in his place."

"No, Mom, you can't!"

"Beverly..." warned Jean-Luc softly. Still, she ignored him. Liator seemed to think it over for a moment before nodding to the guards holding Wesley. Rivan looked uncomfortable.

"Take her into custody." Beverly strode forward and wrapped her arms around her only son.

"I love you," she whispered into his ear, not allowing her voice to betray her feelings. Pulling back, she placed her hands on either side of his face. "I want Captain Picard to beam you back to the ship, okay? Don't stay, my darling. You are truly your father's son- never forget that."

"Mom..." Wesley seemed to be at a loss for words. Tears brimmed his eyes. "I love you, too. I'm so sorry." His mother pushed him towards Picard and the others, taking his place across the room.

"This is ridiculous," said Riker in an outrage, shooting a look at his Captain to do something. When Picard shook his head, he stepped forward with authority. "Doctor, I order you to step down."

"She handed me her resignation just before we beamed down," said Jean-Luc in a defeated voice. She still refused to meet his eyes. "Transporter Room One, prepare to beam Wesley Crusher back aboard the Enterprise."

"Sir, we can't get a lock on any of you," came the reply. Worf cursed in Klingon under his breath. Tasha and Will took very defensive stances. There was no way they were going to let anyone be executed.

"God does not approve," muttered one of the Edo. "The boy is not being punished. Merely knowing his own mother died for him is not enough."

"Make him watch," suggested another.

"No!" said Picard in determination, before Beverly could even get the words out. "Wesley Crusher will having nothing to do with this." There was much conversation before Liator settled them down.

"If we administer the alternative serum, will our God allow the boy to go back to his ship?" Everyone seemed frozen for a few precious seconds before Chief O'Brian came over the comm device.

"Sir, I can transport on your order." Jean-Luc took a deep breath and for the first time blue eyes met hazel. They stared at each other intently, as if an entire different conversation was taking place.

"Alternative serum?" asked Tasha.

"It is reserved for capitol offences, such as murder," spoke Rivan with her head slightly bowed. "It is quite...painful. Excruciating, we've been told."

"Mom!" Wesley tried to leap forward but Riker held him back and at the same moment the Captain gave his order.

"Energize." Wesley Crusher disappeared in a blue haze. Deanna closed her eyes to shut out the tears.

"Please, Liator, tell me there is something I can do..." Jean-Luc practically begged the leader of the Edo. "Let me..."

"Sir," warned Riker. They all knew the Captain of the Enterprise had no business on the execution block. Beverly shook her head, lips pursed in determination.

"Deanna, make sure my son makes it through this." One of the guards was removing the cap on the syringe he had taken from a box. "Will, he thinks of you as a mentor...he trusts you. Guide him. And, Tasha and Worf...protect my son as I would. And Jean-Luc..." her voice finally broke.

"Beverly," his voice was calm, but Deanna could sense the emotional turmoil taking place within her captain. How he was managing to stay strong she had no idea.

"Damn it, Jean-Luc, I'm sorry. Promise me you won't blame yourself for this." A single tear slipped past her defenses. "I don't know why I pushed you away after Jack died...I was scared..."

"Beverly, you don't have to explain anything to me." Liator stepped forward.

"Are you ready?" Beverly nodded holding out her arm for the guard to insert the serum. She watched as he slipped the needle in and released the poison into her blood stream. Then, she glanced up at the man who had been her best friend for half her life. Blinking back her tears, she whispered the words that could have brought a man to his knees.

"I love you, Jean-Luc." Her knees hit the ground as the first shot of pain shocked her body.

Deanna threw herself into Will's arms, refusing to watch her best friend die. She could feel every painful moment without looking. The man she was holding on to was tense with anger and sorrow. Worf looked like he wanted to kill everyone in the room, but he was frozen on the spot, staring at the bravery of one woman. Tasha could feel the tears that were cold on her emotionless face. She had watched so many die before this, but there was something new to this feeling of devastation.

Jean-Luc watched as a shiver of pain shook Beverly Crusher's body. The last words that had left her lips rocked him to his core. He could not let her die alone, as a spectacle, as a sacrifice to the Prime Directive. He pushed aside Liator who tried to stop him as he knelt before the red haired woman who had more strength than any officer or admiral he had ever served with before.

"Beverly, I'm right here." Her eyes were closed tightly, as were her lips. She seemed determined not to scream. "Let it out." Wrapping tender arms around her shuddering frame, suddenly so frail and thin. He never realized how small she was for her height.

"Jean...I'm so sorry." His heart broke for her a million times over. Her hands gripped his forearms, squeezing in pain. Her body convulsed and he laid her gently on the ground. "I should...have told you..how I felt a long...time ago."

It wasn't until he felt Will Riker's hand on his back that he realized he was crying. His Number One brushed a piece of red hair from Beverly's sweating face. Deanna had come over as well kneeling on the other side of her dying friend; tears flowing freely from her delicate face. Beverly arched her back in pain, whimpering quietly.

"Beverly, I love you. I always have, my dear." Suddenly, Tasha was yelling and Rivan was pushing her way through the crowd. Before anyone could stop her, she stabbed a syringe into Beverly's seizing body. The woman who had been dying before an entire civilization lay still as death, eyes closed and body pale.

"What have you done?"

"I ended her suffering. I ended all of their suffering!" While they were arguing, Worf hit his comm device. Jean-Luc gathered her lifeless body into his arms trying to control his devastation.

"Six to beam up. Energize."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2:

A/N: The conclusion to _Love for a Life_.

Wesley paced back and forth in front of the transporter pad. Captain Picard would figure something out. He had to; he would not let his mother die. Over and over again he kept telling himself that it was not his fault. And yet...in the end, it boiled down to one stupid mistake. Even though, technically, he had not know about the law, Beverly Crusher was willing to sacrifice herself for not only her son, but Starfleet's laws.

Worf's deep voice registered over the comm. "Six to beam up. Energize." Chief O'Brian quickly jumped into action, bringing the away team back home. When they appeared, Commander Riker, Counselor Trio, and Lieutenants Yar and Worf looked considerably worse for the wear. Both women had been crying, though Tasha Yar had composed herself and the Head of Security had returned to herself. However, Wesley paid them no heed; he had eyes only for the lifeless form in Captain Picard's arms.

"No!" Wesley nearly leaped to his mother's still figure, but Will Riker got to him first, holding him back. Jean-Luc had laid her out on the surface of the pad and Deanna had knelt beside them both. Wesley tried to push Will out of the way, but the small teenager was no match for the full grown Commander. "Mom!"

"Counselor Trio to Sickbay. Medical Emergency in Transporter Room One. It's urgent!" Picard's hands were searching for a pulse on the pale neck exposed beneath him. "I can still sense her, Captain. Come on, Beverly. You don't want to die!"

Jean-Luc cradled her upper body in his arms, holding her up. "Come on, my dear. Fight it. Come back to me." The medical team rushed in, quickly jumping into action to save their Commanding Officer. The rest of the Senior Staff sat back and watched everything unfold before them. Soon, they had her stable enough to move to Sick Bay. Wesley watched helplessly as the nurses moved his mother onto a stretcher and took her out of the room. Will still had a hand on his shoulder, offering his constant support.

"Picard to Data. Get us out of here." He watched Dr. Crusher's well taught staff take her to her own domain. "Warp nine."

"Heading, sir?"

"Anywhere far from here." Picard started to follow them out, but a quick glance from Deanna reminded him of the teenage boy who was clearly in more pain than he. "Mr. Crusher?" The official sound of his tense voice caused Wesley to jump to attention.

"Sir, I'm so sorry. I don't...I'm sorry. Is she going to be okay?" blabbering, the poor boy tried to form words out of his feelings. The Captain raised a hand to stop him. It was then Wesley got a good look at the man he so looked up to. His eyes were red, face pale and drawn. Captain Picard had been scared, just as scared as he was.

"Wesley, you can't blame yourself for this, whatever happens," murmured Counselor Trio. However, it was not her opinion he cared about.

"Captain?" He needed him to say something- anything. Jean-Luc finally met Wesley's eyes. Instead of the anger he expected, there was a look Wesley had only seen once in his life, a look most people never see from the great Captain. It was a look of pure defeat and loss. The same eyes had told his mother of her husband's death, of his father's death.

"Wesley, she's right." This time anger burned through the younger man. How could they not understand? It was his fault! His fault that his mother was going to die. His fault that he caused everyone so much pain; caused his mom so much pain.

"But it is my fault! How could I possibly act like it isn't?" Wesley shouted at no one in particular. Will tightened his grip; holding him back from doing anything rash. Jean-Luc took four quick steps to stand in front of the boy. Without hesitation, he nodded for Riker to back off, and placed his own firm hand on Wesley's shoulder.

"Let it go, Wesley," said Jean-Luc, his voice thick with emotion. "Your mother is going to need your support right now. That is the best that either one of us can do." Wesley nodded his head quickly, blinking back tears. With an odd gaze on his face, Picard pulled the teenager towards him and wrapped him into a hug.

"Dr. Selar to Captain Picard." The Vulcan's voice was emotionless as it came across the Comm device on the Captain's chest. Wesley quickly pulled himself back as Jean-Luc tensed up.

"Picard here. What's her status, Doctor?" Everyone waited with baited breath.

"She is going to live, but not without consequences. The damage to her-"

"Thank you, Doctor, I shall be up there momentarily." Picard quickly cut her off. Beverly Crusher was going to live. That is what mattered; that is all that mattered. He walked to the door, but when he realized Wesley was still frozen on the spot, he turned back.

"Mr. Crusher? Will you accompany me to Sick Bay?" The boy jumped with a start and nearly jogged after him.

When they entered the medical wing of the Enterprise, they were met by an extremely patient Vulcan doctor. Wesley immediately rushed to his mother's side. Beverly Crusher was lying unconscious on a biobed in a private room. Nurses flitted around her, desperate to do anything to make sure the health of their boss was at its best.

"Dr. Selar, what can you tell me?" Picard pulled the doctor in charge over to the side, his eyes never leaving Beverly's body.

"She will make it, but considering what her body went through, not to include the mental strain, this could take a significant amount of recovery time." Selar checked her tricorder and then the PADD she was holding. "Basically, the poison she was given started to shut down her body one organ and system at a time. Interestingly enough, the order they were shut down in was backward from most poisons. It was meant for the victim to suffer."

"Yes, I realize that."

"Captain, I am relieving her of duty pending her recovery, but I cannot say when that will be. I recommend Counselor Trio spend some time with her, but there is nothing we can do to erase the pain she suffered through."

"I understand, Doctor, thank you. When will she be awake?"

"A couple of hours perhaps. Let me know when she comes around." Dr. Selar left the Captain and Dr. Crusher's son alone with her boss. Picard went to sit on the other side of the bed across from Wesley, who was sitting silently in anticipation.

Time passed slowly as the two men sat at the beloved woman's bed side. Deanna and Will came in to give a report to Picard about what Deanna believed happened planet side. Finally the fragile red head opened her eyes. Blinking into the light she stared at the dark haired adolescent before her. A frown appeared on her face as she tried to register where she was.

"Jack?" Her voice was weak and her late husband's name barely rolled over her tongue. Wesley shook his head, afraid to speak and let his voice betray his emotions. "Oh, Wes, I'm sorry...You look so much like him..." She reached a trembling hand to touch his face. "Except your nose."

"Mom..." Suddenly her eyes turned dark and she tried to sit up suddenly.

"Where am I? I should have..." Beverly finally caught sight of Jean-Luc sitting silently on the other side.

"Died?" offered Jean-Luc. She let out a painful gasp and lay back against the pillows. "Rivan apparently had a sudden change of heart. According to Deanna, she found your willingness to die out of love for your son quite moving." There was another part to that, but Wesley did not need be privy to that information quite yet.

"So, I'm alive...on the Enterprise." It seemed she finally recognized her own Sick Bay. Wesley nodded in enthusiasm.

"You're gonna be alright, Mom." Beverly pulled her only son forward, kissing him on the forehead. "You're gonna be alright."

"I know, Wes. I love you, my son."

"I love you, too, Mom." She smiled a smile that did not quite reach her eyes as she studied Wesley's worn face.

"Why don't you go get some sleep?" Before he could protest, she placed a finger on his lips. "Please?" He reluctantly nodded, giving a quick glance at Picard.

"I promise to take care of her until you get back."

"Yes, sir." Wesley placed a kiss upon his mother's cheek and grudgingly left the small room.

"Jean-Luc..."started Beverly, but he held up a hand to stop her. Jean-Luc had been thinking for hours how this conversation was going to go. She had professed her love as her final, dying words. Pulling nervously on his shirt, he approached the bed, taking a seat on the edge of it, near her hip.

"Don't speak. Deanna said that the reason Rivan gave you the antidote was that she, and the Edo culture, value love. Your love as a mother was strong enough for you to endure a painful death. However, she would have allowed you to die if it weren't for the fact you were willing to give up the chance of loving me. When we both admitted how we felt, Deanna said she was overcome with such a guilt for ruining that love, that she was willing to spare your life. Now, in a moment I have to go alert Dr. Selar that you are awake. But before I do, I want to make sure you know that by no means will I hold you to what you said back there. I understand that-" This time she cut him off. Reaching out, she took his hand in hers.

"Please, will you just let me explain." Beverly's eyes were so tired and Jean-Luc ached to see her in pain. The medication seemed to be wearing off and he had half the mind to go get the Doctor right then. "I don't want to take back what I said, Jean-Luc."

"Are you sure?" His hazel eyes looked distant, as if he did not believe the conversation was actually taking place. A single tear rolled down her face, but neither wiped it away. It was a testament of the anguish she had been through, not just in the past twenty-four hours, but in her entire life: the loss of her parents, of Jack Crusher, the thought of losing her only precious son, and finally, the notion of the end of her own life. It was also a sign of the truth of her feelings; of her true feelings.

"I love you, Jean...And I don't want to be alone." Whether she meant figuratively or at this very moment, Jean-Luc Picard did not care. The only woman he had ever truly loved was staring at him with admiration, determination, and the purest form of love he had ever known.

Pulling herself into a sitting position, Beverly allowed him to hold her close. His strong arms were wrapped around her, keeping her safe. One of his hands was grasping the back of her neck through her hair, his face buried in the soft red tresses. She had thrown both of her arms around his own neck, refusing to let go. Sobs racked her body as she slowly let her defenses down and cried into his chest. They stayed entangled together for several minutes before she gained her composure once again.

Pulling back, he murmured softly, "I can't promise I won't leave you alone, not with this job. But I can promise that as long as I live, I will be a constant by your side, no matter what the cost. I thought I lost you today and felt so helpless. I can't keep loving you from afar."

"Then don't...Love me right now," was her delicate reply. Her eyes were half closed, peering up at him with honesty. Jean-Luc met her halfway, brushing his lips gently against hers. To his surprise, Beverly pressed insistently against the back of his neck. So, with a smirk upon his lips, he captured hers in a searing kiss that could make any sensible woman go weak at the knees.

Leaning her back onto the pillow, he kissed her properly, letting his tongue flick at her lips. Granting him entrance, she ran her hands down his broad shoulders, trying to ignore the protest of her aching body. His tongue teased her mouth, exploring what was now his. However, his better judgment got the best of him as he pulled away. She moaned in annoyance, but he gave her a tender kiss on her forehead.

"Perhaps we should continue this when you have completely healed," he said huskily.

"I'll hold you to that, Captain. Only next time I expect you to be laying beside me in your quarters." Jean-Luc almost blushed at her brazen comment.

"I am sure she will hold you to that, Captain, but before she can collect, I have to finish my tests." This time Captain Picard did blush as he turned to see Dr. Selar staring impassively toward him. Alyssa Ogawa was looking intently at the ceiling, hardly concealing her amused smile.

"Thank you, Doctor," was all he could manage. Beverly let out a small laugh, which earned her a glare from her Commanding Officer. "I guess that is my cue to leave."

"I'll give you a full report when I am done, Captain." Selar moved to the other side of the biobed, triocorder in hand. Seeing that he still wasn't moving. "Sir, the worst has passed. She isn't going to die at any point now."

"I'll hold you to that, Doctor." Then with a smile, he added, "Until then, my love." He pressed a chaste kiss to her hand and walked out of the room with the smile still on his face.


End file.
